"Have fun," I said, reflexively adding "use your manners" as the soon-to-be-14-year-old left the villa, headed off to a sleepover at a friend's house.
Basically, I meant just say "please" and "thank you" to the parents and don't trudge any mud into their house.
"How'd it go?" I asked the next day, getting the perfunctory teen grunt in return. "Did you use your manners?" (Grunt with a slight nod; translation: "Why yes, I did. Thanks for asking. I behaved admirably.")
I thought of that highbrow conversation the next evening. I was patiently waiting for an obviously sweet lady to remember the 'R' in her car meant reverse, so she could vacate the prime strip mall parking spot I had my eyes on. As I did a lap of the parking lot to wait for the spot to emerge, I noticed a young fellow in a wheelchair, struggling a little to make it up the sidewalk incline. By the time I got back around, he had made it to level ground.
I saw the same fellow as I came out after grabbing my desired items, struggling a wee bit more to make it up a slightly bigger incline. I immediately put my hazard lights on, hopped out (OK, slowly eased out) and went over and asked if he needed a push. As I was pushing him up the hill, a somehow miffed motorist honked at me to move my vehicle.
"Seriously?" I thought. "Are we really that sad?"
I took a little extra time getting the fellow up the incline and then slowly trundled back to my vehicle and pretended to fumble for my keys for a bit before finally moving and allowing the other driver to break free from the burdensome shackles of temporary inconvenience.
Now, I was brought up in a fairly staid, British-style environment which valued propriety often above all else. Don't talk with your mouth full, ask to be excused, address all adults as "Mr. and Mrs.", please and thank you, always hold the door, give up your seat on the bus for ladies or elderly people... I'm sure most of you of a certain vintage know the drill. (Of course, farting into a jar and getting your sister to take a whiff and Benny Hill-style humour were still a big part of the deal, but only in a "proper" manner, you see). I always cared more what teachers said about the child's comportment than I did any grade.
Now, I'm pleased to report anecdotally that virtually all of the friends the youngsters have brought through the house over the years have been unfailingly polite (and not in the Eddie Haskell buttering up Mrs. Cleaver kind of way), so there's that. And on the odd occasions when I manage to be out and about, there's still all kinds of decency on display, at least when people aren't behind the wheel. So there's hope for us all yet.
But I wondered, with all the foul invective we can see too often online, do you see an overall decline of manners or civility in our everyday lives? Are there things you too often see missing today that used to be commonplace?
I put the call out to my talented Black Press/Carpenter media colleagues and they were quick to point out a few. People not holding the door for others; not returning grocery carts; not saying please and thank you; not picking up your dog's poop; children calling their friend's parents by their first names; not being on time; and not writing thank you notes for gifts were cited.
A few more irritants: a general lack of respect for our elders; a willingness to park in handicapped spots "just for a minute"; and of course an array of other driving pet peeves. Is it really OK to think folks need a refresher course on etiquette if they don't give you "the wave" if you let them merge in?
Are manners disappearing? What's missing? Always glad to hear your takes.
PQB 亚洲天堂/Vancouver Island Free Daily editor welcomes your questions, comments and local story ideas. He can be reached via email at ; by phone at 250-905-0029 or on Twitter .
